Thursday, 17 April 2014

Friday, 28 February 2014

I re-invent the

What is rong with THe Beano these days ???  that's what I ask myself everytime I sit on my toilet staring at the A6 framed picture of david Schwimmer I have above my bathroom vomit/piss sank.

david refused to sign said pikturr and dvd boxset of disc one of Band of Brothers box set.  he said and I quote

        "fuck off"

Anyway this got me thinking what the flying fuckery is wrong with the old dead bost beano i used to love yesteryear?

you know what it is ?    No bneither do i thanks for the blogging.  enjouy

Illustration Holes on friday you plum!

This weeks word is SPACE....
Here's mi filth...

joshuashes my dead son, he is a copyright of mine.  Last week joshuers got his penis caught in my pencil case while he wuz eplorning the washint moshchine for dead legs of my wasp collection.  sadly jushueashrs died a 14th time this time and sadly cannot be regenerated agin this samstag.

URL is dying .com Fridazzz Part: 4

My dead sohn jushwers has been grounded.  he hgas been a very nawty boy i caught him vomitting into an arcade fire CD his arms and legs all scrunched up inta iz belly like a spider does when it's in it's final deaath vomit.
I said son! what da FUCJK are you a doing?!

His response?   and I'll neveor forget it as long as I live

So that's my entrery for illustarion firday this week foldks see you nexrt weeck ;)

Ill Egg street Friggers TaDOO.5

Forgot to enters the last few weeks Illinformation fridays due to Joshuashs birth controls running rampant in lower manhatton.

Monday, 2 September 2013


Much LUSH LOVE to ya's Last night I was dreaming about drawing crumbs on Peter sellers Chin when he was on the Michael parkinson chat show.
 And in my dream he whispered to me frome beyond the grave

 "When I told you I hoped Graham Norton gets Parkinsons" ...I didnt mean Iz fucking job!

anyway ere's a lump of Comic cock i deep throated out of Miley cyprus's manhood.

Saturday, 24 August 2013

Fat cunt Flipperday

Here's my latest cunt file

Vun just entered the room so I must benter IF without looking at wat I typers

Please refrain from using my spinal column as a wineglass you arse tre
I have a deep confesson to make Illocrayonstation freemandysoners:

Ive been blind as long as I can remember the only way I can see these days is if I promise Pa I'll draw some more ILL CASTRATION FLEM DONS only then will he   take the blindfold and the restrictive head restraint off and allow me to have a Greggs Sausage roll and draw some Ruddy Comic.  One day I'll forget what real life looks like like fer instanse the character of ARMUS I was trying to draw a Tractor on dialysis  but it came out all wong.  Still Ive got me health...farther usually remembers to put the antidote into my kennel food moist ngihts.

Sunday, 18 August 2013

Oil painting Thurstay entery

Deep illustrat Frydays, here ity my enters for this week. This week. This week the word is. Is POWER!

In anticipation that this week i will win the Illo Friday £73.10 cash prize, I would like to thank god, jesus, god-jesus IIXXV, captain Imhotep Riker, and Blae 7's starship the USS Hello My Friend.


Next week the word on illustratos fruntag is "wheel"

wife left him at

this ford maddox brown work was hard to do. I set fire to the first 83 attemtps cos they weren not greater enough. 


hello darlings me.

Sunday, 11 August 2013

Olly Frustration NIght

Helo erdington station friday fan. my name is ROmrne, welcome to my Today's weekly word it "Fresh"

Remember that time in castlevainia XXXIIIIXIIX when the latest album by the housemartins was in th etop 10 album chart. what has this got to do with my IF entry I here you say/ask/exclaim/press/flimp/Argos catalogue. The A to your question is thids = = = I HAVE NO FUCKEN IDEA - I DREW WHET I FELT GOD @

I was heavely preg-Nuns when I oompleted this weeks Willson-constrations fridays thankully my dead son Joshua #5 clicked the windows start button and out popped a shit baby.  Reall good funz ya funky cunt tones.
Meanwhile on ~Gaven Neweys Chin testiclicular cancer had spread to his toast crimes.

Blig Blig Deep Illo station nine on fridays fans.

Friday, 2 August 2013

Eel oh station cry day

Morning Dad thix weeks illo chemo fry skins new drawing iz deadicat teds to ded dad derek   & cliv vol: A.

This wekk I decided to draw another comic as latersly Ive been gatherin a lots of interest in me comics from uk based DC thampons also responsible for beano charracters Dinner mennace, Roguuuuuers the gaugers, and Mine craft the deep space minx.


welcome to my mums japseye cleenex

i wrote to you all last week with an illustration that I hoped would get a lot of attention from the local press. I'm gladdy to reportz to you that the Expresss A& Freddie Star published an article about how how I was born under a wandering star

hello my name is Romarn Truiphs

Anyway, this weeks I'm entering illustration saturday on fire wirg my mbreasts dipped in cancer milk#


Neil Degrasse Tyson
Neil Strauss
William F Buckley

goodnight illustration friday cack wolf

Monday, 29 July 2013

Joshuels Redemption Part: XII

My dead babys Joshowels has facebook deleted me from his chum units.  Please Joshums please add you mother Stan & Laurel back onto your freinds queue.  Mum-bone is so sorree that her breast-pegs failed to load and you recevied a 404 page error wen yuo tried to feed on my milk baps. 

I know I have been trying too hard lately to cement mummy a career in comic book construction but is very hard when your palpable cunt son Jofusuahs keeps been the biggest cunting cunter of mummys lives. 

Mummy sad.  Joshuers not more dead :(

Stay tuned fro mor ILL SON STRAIGHT SON FRY DONS this friday,BLIGS.


Friday, 26 July 2013

This week on illustration fristag the werd was JUNGLE I think.
I like jungle music, I like to dance to it while thinking of my baby Josha=uauaua.


sometimes my thumb rap[e me in the sleep of night but i please dont confuse m with tin trout thanks?
 oh did anyone see coldplays last entree for ill face tron 2 the movie last week it was well mofo christ I built thes city on rock and coal fabs? No didnt I eithers but i lov e my jugs soft and cm  milky with fun cums fslling out of  thems

Friday, 19 July 2013


This week illusrtations Fry days word was ROBERT.

Do you remember Robot Worton? Wot about RObot FARMER? How about ROBOT?
Well, I remember them all. Like weetabix lodged in my stomach. This things nevor leaf you.

So anywipes, Ill Fry sad to us today that we should draw some robots. I was like "dude, I got my fuken kids to feed". Then Ill Fry said "Dude your kid Joshua dyed 2 years ago". And I was all like "oh yeah, hahahahaha". Kids do the funniest things lmfao

Did I tell you mi Nob was the Blue peter dog for 6 years during the last days of "MILK GO GOOD WITH ALCHOLOHL"
cemented in time foreverrrr

Joshueas found my birth ceritificates and relised I was not his dad/flash drive.  He plenty mad and throwued me off a ginger kite.

Moral of the story?  Friday.

the rock
the rock

  the r ock is my faverite lover. Do you remember back in 1993 when the new beaNO book had been relassed by Abraj? my 4th father in moth tycoon goth sai I should stop telling pen pen pen pen penn & teller

Back in the year fortnight ago my grandad grandgad gaydrander granny-dad downloaded illegally from tesco milton keynes the film Donnie darkgoes starring me favourite male actker Jake city of gylleenguilds.  I watch 4?. times?. I guess and on the filth time my vaginer said " BLOODY 'ELL THE RED ONE's abou to Blow. and it did.  Sandwich everywhere.

Told you?

Monday, 23 January 2012

did I ever tells you about my boyfriend Mat Nandos? He was responsible fo the sperm part that made my baby - as we all know my 'raising a child successfully' project didnt pan out in the end due to some problems, but anyway, love can build a bridge.

me and Mat Nandos broke up a while back fter my baby ceased to function, but I have ti admit that the time i spent with him left me doubting his entenshions. for instance, for a leving he drew comics and made his money that way. the day we broke up i tooks this photo of his desk 
i want to draw your attention to all THE FUCKING TERRIBLE SHIT GOING ON HIS iDESK

see if you can spot all of the stupid things this cunt got wrong.

now i want a real man, like this tub of stupid ass sweat

god just look at his tits man, theyre so sweat a juice, theyre ripe for the squeezing

next week I can get my clit pearced, so says my best mate anwyay. apparenzly you have to wait until leap years to get your vagina slashed open and a piece of metal smashed in. i canny wait lovers.

lovers you allsv

hellow viewers. its been may years since i last poster an blog but i am here tonight to let you know that i am still alive and have many new news matters to recount to they.

fir1st  of all i wanna talk about me old pal Tango.

his real name isnt Tango but Im trying me best to hide his eyedenitee.

that FUCKING CUNT THat GODDAM MOFO FUCKING BASTARD did something terrible and Ic ant let it go. in 1997 i drews a picture and was halfway threw it and i accidentally gave it to him with a bunch of other paper files, and when he returned it to me he's tried to fill in the rest, but did s in a most horrific mano

my characters were drorn in and he put in a fake pile of SHIT behind them!

am i wrong to    never forgive him? jhe was my best mate until i had my fathers knee. so many tims i tried to talk to him about it - 15 years is an long time to pearl harbour anger and regret and fear and anxiet and bravery and be brave through my entire lifesince, knowing that deep doiwn he has scarrr my internal mind



Wednesday, 24 August 2011

hellows and welcome to my blog
My name is Roman. i am afraid.

quit tired tonight so I shall only stay a few hours. i have a picture clip I want to share with you all. its my comedy idols Dezza and Clivva, who was big comedians n the 70s an shit. i circles the disco bools and when I cum home I was preggers for the 9th time.

they am sexy boys

hi there my name is Roman Polanksi and I am a doctor about the NCC 1701 D Enterprise, but only in 2364 AD NEVOER BEFORE NOR AFTER COS THAT DATA got bored of my constant critisicing of his validity as a viable life form and he done me in after st=icking hi cock up my dress in sandwell valley 55

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Joshua jp[egs on telly for my painful sins

As ALL of you will know my baby Josher jo jok joor passed off earlers this year.  as his paternal momok i was nature sad, but eye have now bin given Star Wars A New Hope as my moms grtandson (Joshua) has been seen on TV's biggest crimewatch show: Most Haunted AS A FUCKEN GHOST!!!. I have a friend called Greg who runs a business capturing jpgs from the telly and cos it was specunt circumsishems he said he would do 3 screen captures for me (the person writing this). I will narrative the pictures, please read aloud and imkagine the photoghts are moving with voices and shit like as if you woz wotrching thr tv/rtelly/box/set/gogglebox/cunt pill.

If you would like to buy any of these pictures of my dead ghost baby, please email me at my post code.

Screenprint 1 ($449.95)
in this picture A Vet Feel Ding is in what looks liKe a room. One can see that her is looking at summat and has missed the first appearance of my son, precariously peeking round the fucking table - always with his ball, always with his ball, always with hisd ball. Key Renault Keef is oblivious to the appetiser but that medium man (sorry sexy I cant remember yur name) seems to sense that my mixed-race offspring is lookedin.

Screenprint 2 ($420.55)
now in tuuesday one joshua has obviously got fucking angry at bean miossed in the first moment so it looks to me like he's trying to get close to the camera/cameraman. i think since he's been on the over side he's learnt to finally rotate his body by the 90 degrees demanded by the Geneva convention, for which his previous inability to do lead to him being blinded at birth.

Screenprint 3 ($680.01)
In this pic (thnks Greg) A Vet Feel Ding and Do Wreck A Car Rah are no longer in what we would term as 'normal space time'  and have in fact steped into Dimension 22 (where I usually buy my dads breath)  and even though theyve gone here my son has followed. this time he has a little red glow in his eyes. I hope he's not gone evil. oh I do hope he isnt eveil now. oh I do hope he isnt my best friends cargo containeder this no longer.

boxers and boxed Led Zeppelin t-shirts for sale next week for £3 tree

ANYWAY s wnyabody who has recently lost a lved one, plean takle solaice in my story - it is proof that life goes on and on and on etc forever, and in heaven the angels pick ther snot out of your ears and feed it to ht ret

"THATs enough Mantooth" I yelled. "you cant geep doing this to my family, there will be consequences". that shut him up.s

Sunday, 15 May 2011


My late bossfiend Nado Mantos is always in me heart.

Celine Dion sang it best with those immortal words "Kiss my throat and die on creasote condom 22" she is a wise wombat .

Last tuesday morning I was eating some cereals and suspewct I went over my limit, cos within 8 years I had developed a serious allergy to japanese pancreas milk


i was touched by an angel, he poked my cornia and I had to go up the hospital for a replacement, buyt the guys there replaced my cornia wirth a bag of bacon fisheserys



Friday, 18 March 2011

I am worriedf abouf how many calories I have put oin toay. I have eaten a bIg mAc and 31.5 acorns. ..


Now lets not gorget that Gary Moore dued last onth. I am sadders. I hereby dedicate the memory of Joshua's bones to the memory of my Gary Moore CDs


Thursday, 17 March 2011

Joshua Died, my and dad are sadders

Well. Joshua finally died. My son is dead.

The funeralw as yesterday night. We have had a grave m,ade. My boyfriend Natha is not too sad as Joshua was an unfriendly baberys.

Goodnight Mr Tom

THIS gravers was noty good enough - made it another one as belobs:


Thursday, 17 February 2011

kchice...We all av chices in life

tghis is my entree for MSN's latest advertising slugon for MSN 2011 hopestleey I wull gett the JOb:3:11

 me art historien FEINDd Rwanda Pete gouache hellPD with the FOnts on this particuuntar pice thanks pete

ill OH stray LION fry DAY!

I HAVE BEEN entereds Startship Friday for as lonk as I recalber. This week I decided tyo do a picture of a drawing that featers something that relates to the topic offered by Penelope Cruz.

This man is a asweaters.

please send me m essages with  test words

please text me your mobile numbers. IO can be reackered on 0121 502 2097
One sick puppy? I told her to buite her own cock off, force feed it to her gran, punch her gran in the stomach till it sicks up, then feed that to her 19 month odl baby.

you sicker? please quote me happys

joshua hasnt died yet part IX

my 3-part black son Joshua hsa been having several/many/multiple adventures of laters,

here he is with my latest boyfriuernd getting into all sorts of mischief. you cant see in this photo, but Joshua 18 had just watched Little Britain and needed a desk poo reall bad, so my husbands let him crap under tt desks

Anoth excuse storing is when joShua TRee was  having his hairs combed by my husbands/boyfriend coffee handsers ----- >>

And finally,
this poiucture is when Joshn was with my huspand and my sister A Dell Laptop:

PLEase comment or my son will kill himself by hurling himself down my unprotected stairs

BUT THE LOCAL spar wouldnt let me buy plasters for my deceased wifes